"Can you open my blinds?"
"Mommy?! Mommy?! Mommy!!!"
"Can you open my blinds?"
Imagine coming home after a long day and finding nothing but a pile of rubble in your front yard that used to be a house. That's a scary thought when you're talking about a candle, isn't it? Did you know that you can avoid a potential fire hazard simply by BLOWING IT OUT?
Today we're going to learn how.
You've seen them before; those square kitchen boxes that open up into a storage unit for plates, glassware, and random utensils; sound familiar? You may even have bumped your knee up against one while throwing a dish in the sink. But today you are going to learn what that thing is and exactly what it is good for —or not.
Yesterday, while demonstrating 'how to push a broom,' we were greeted by an overflowing trash can. So, today we are going to explore how to empty it. Because clearly, it IS that difficult.
I love walking barefoot on the beach and feeling the sand between my toes. I do NOT, however, enjoy walking barefoot in the kitchen and feeling the same thing; knowing full-well that the beach is hours away.
And I bet I'm not alone.
Today we will begin our journey into the vast world of sweeping. So grab a broom and join me as we practice the art of pushing a broom.
My daughter has a bunch of fish. They have names like Pinkie and Blue Streak. They don't ask for much; mostly because they can't speak, but I'm pretty sure they are happy to see me in the mornings because I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO FEEDS THEM!
So take note, this is an important lesson on life!
Every. Single. Flipping. Day... I have to straighten this photo. Today is no exception. As one might imagine, the photo is an inanimate object; incapable of moving itself. Therefore, someone else must have moved it! But do you know what they didn't do? That's right, they didn't move it back. Maybe they didn't know how?!
Let's remedy that dilemma by guiding them through the process, shall we?
It is a strange phenomenon when you witness a person wolfing down a bag of stale chips (because they didn't watch THIS OR THIS) and they fail to notice all of the tiny crumbs falling to their death on your clean, granite countertop. Well get ready, because I'm about to rock your mommy world with a quick lesson on clean up!
You know what? I'm not even going to bother talking about this one, just watch the flipping video.
Sure, you could say I am a bit OCD —because I am! I like things in their place; neat and tidy; even at bathtime.
You know what I want to do when I see a bottle of shampoo; wide open, tipped over and dripping all over the side of the wall? I want to rip out my hair. No, scratch that, I want to rip out someone else's. So today, let's explore the exciting world of closing a fucking bottle. Oopsie... Pardon my French!
My husband has a pair of "cowboy jammies" I got for him as a joke one year for Christmas. He wears them all the effing time. So much so, that he often forgets to put them in the wash —a common mistake amongst men.
This episode is dedicated to those men (boys) in your life who just can't seem to grasp the concept of clean smelling clothes. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a quick lesson on how to remedy that problem!
It's one thing to turn the volume down on a remote, but turning off a television completely takes skill and dedication that goes far beyond mere courtesy. Today I will illustrate a simple, one-step, solution that will not only reduce irritation but serve as an aid in lowering your monthly power bill.
I like to grind my teeth on empty peanut shells about as much as I like to eat stale chips, so why not try locking in on that flavor by sealing up the bag?
You will be astounded at just how basic this procedure really is. And, at nearly $5 a bag, your wallet might even throw out a Jackson and give you a high-five paper cut!
There is nothing more promising than the imagination of a child; that is, until you trip on one of her toys and end up going through the drywall head first.
In today's tutorial, we are going to discuss the importance of putting your toys away and show you exactly how easy it is to do!
Due to suggestive language, this video is rated PG13.
Adult body parts can be a terrifying sight to a small child, especially when they're dipped in old age! So the next time you want to whip out Mr. Cheerful and sprinkle your way to comfort, why not try locking the door?!
Not sure how? Let me show you the way.
It's okay to cry at your own party, but no one want's to be in charge of cleaning up those balled-up tissues you left on the floor. So why make them do it?
In this episode, we will unravel the mysteries behind an ordinary box of tissues and journey into a hypnotic state of self-sanitation.
It's a dirty job... So do it yourself!
There's nothing like a nice, hot shower to kick off your day. But imagine reaching for your towel, only to find that you had left it on the ground the night before!
Watch, as I demonstrate a single maneuver that will eliminate the need for a third-party cleaning service. I call this move, "How To Pick Up A Towel!"
There's nothing quite like an exploding residence to ruin an otherwise perfect morning. Which is why I like to encourage my loved ones to turn off the gas burners after preparing the delectable feast of their choosing.
But it doesn't always turn out that way.
It's easy to get lost in the moment when that feedbag slaps you in the face. But failing to turn off an ignited flame, and exposing your family to a toxic gas is a wake-up call that you don't want to get!
Let me pave the road to a safer and happier home.
Can't Find Your Keys?
Why go out and drop a small fortune on a key finder that you will eventually either lose or break when everything you could ever need is right there at your fingertips? The answer is simple, don't!
In this episode, you will learn the art of utilizing a simple household object in order to eliminate the unnecessary distress caused by losing a set of keys.
Brushing your teeth has never been easier, thanks to the makers of the flip lid. And today, I am going to demonstrate just how manageable this innovative technology is to use —with just one finger!
You might want to give it a whirl before someone offers you a different finger!
There is an epidemic going around which, according to sources, makes it impossible for people to close a drawer. It seems unlikely because they are able to open it and paw through it at their leisure, but for some reason, unknown to (wo)man, they are not able to close it.
Say no more.
In this episode, I will attempt to put an end to the madness that is reality and show your loved ones how to close a fucking drawer —one inch at a time.
I spent my Valentine's Day bowling with friends; one of which demanded that I make a video on how to pull up a sheet. It seemed absurd to me that someone could be satisfied with that kind of half-assed effort, but I promised her I would work on it —and here it is.
If you, or someone you love, has been struggling with educating family members on performing simple household routines and would like my help in training them, it's time to step up and be heard!
Please be sure to comment below and I will add your request to my ever-growing list of shit that isn't hard to do, but needs to be done.
Oh, you know me, I'm not one to complain. But I do like to pass on an occasional bit of wisdom to my male followers every now and again, so today is dedicated to you.
In this rare, never before seen footage, you will observe the quickest and easiest way to piss off a woman, and how to correct it —lickety-split! Sorry, poor choice of words.
There's a reason why cats don't have hands, but since no one knows why that is, let's just assume they need help pouring their own food into a bowl.
Not sure how? I'm here to enlighten... Enjoy the ride.
I have a cup sitting on my desk. It is packed full of pens of all variations. There are red pens and pink ones, blue, purple, and black ones; even a few Sharpies and highlighters. Do you know what else?
In this episode, we will learn how to return a pen to its rightful owner before someone loses an eye. Because, let's face it, we've all considered poking one out at some point in our lives.